5 quick ways to bomb the job interview

5 quick ways to bomb the job interview

You scrabbled and clawed your way through four (or more) years of higher education. You only partied on days that end in ?y?. Now you?ve got that pretty little diploma nailed to the wall of your basement bedroom, and then it happens. The phone rings. Your first job interview in the real world.

If you want to make absolutely sure no job offer is forthcoming, and feel compelled to stay on the parents dole a while longer, here are five excellent ways to bomb the interview.

1. Arrive late ? Maps and directions? Such navigational aids are for losers. Check your watch and hurry the interviewer along to assure your resume gets tossed in file 13.
2. Dress inappropriately ? This means scruffy aloha shirt and flip-flops for guys, tons of makeup and too much cleavage for the girls. That ought to keep that pesky job offer at bay.

3. Go into zombie mode ? Dead pan face, no enthusiasm, stare at the floor, and grunt your answers.

4. Smoking, drinking, gum chewing ? Heck, why not do all three? Spit out your gum and stick it on the chair, light up a stenchified non-filtered Lucky Strike, and pop the top on a lukewarm beer from your pants pocket.

5. Research failure ? Be sure not to have any idea what products or services the company offers and only have a vague idea of the job you are applying for.

Stick with the preceding advice at all costs. That ought to put a dagger through the heart of any prospective employer silly enough to call you in the first place.

The Jason Hartman Foundation Team